As Christian Business Owners, bearing the Holy Spirit within us, tend to feel obligated to say, “YES, I can” and “YES, I will!” Many times, that yes comes with guilt, obligation, groanings and complaints, and not from a place of a pure and true yes. Why is that? What has become our truth in business? Why do we feel the need to say yes?
As you read the story I’m about to share, you’ll learn when I figured out saying no, freed my soul, my spirit and God’s business placed in my care. A friend of mine approached me about writing a book. She needed help, and I jumped right in as she asked for my help. I was all in and ready, because I just knew, this would be a good thing! I gave her tips, links, research and a great deal of my time. I never charged her a dime. We talked about publishing, and because of that, I didn’t want to charge her. However, when publishing came around (along with the price), I wasn’t good enough. Can you believe that? I wasn’t good enough. It’s nothing she said, but it was in everything she did. I was good enough to drain helping her but not good enough to set her up a publishing platform. I finally wrote her an email releasing myself and her from this hurtfuljourney (at least on my behalf). I told her about publishing companies I trust, and would use, and she should seek them out. She replied, “That is professional. That’s what I’m talking about.” You know what I did next, right? Yes, I rolled my eyes and came out of my email. I cried before God after that encounter because I was hurt. He assured me, how she felt and things she said, doesn’t get to dictate what He has given me to do for His glory.
Saying yes, shouldn’t hurt you or your business, in ANY aspect. Usually, the person who always say yes, have the gift of helps. This gift can be easily taken advantage of because it’s the function of that gift to help. We can easily get used up, beat up, drained to the point of exhaustion, and depleted of our anointing, energy and passion (yes, that can happen). I’m not speaking from a place of “just talk”, I’m speaking from a place of experience.
Learning to say no can be hard at first, but once you chime in on that freedom, believe me, you won’t go back. There are key components to giving a NO!
1. Did you pray about it first?
Before David went into battle, his first response was prayer. He asked, “Do I go up?” God gave him the answer he needed, and He will do the same for us. Some things you won’t need to pray about because it won’t agree with your spirit immediately. Trust your discernment.
2. Do you have all the facts of what their asking of you, to make a sound decision?
Ask, ask, and ask more questions! You need to know exactly what you’re saying yes or no to, and they shouldn’t have a problem with it. If they do have an issue, then that is another indication you need to say no. Most times, if they can’t answer your questions, usually means you are going to go crazy during the “help” process.
3. What will it cost you?
You know better than anyone else whether you can handle the cost. Don’t put yourself in financial, physical, spiritual and mental debt, saying yes to something you should have said no to from the beginning.
4. Is it added value or non- added value?
My husband taught me this concept and I use to it measure everything. Will it add to you or will it take everything from you?
Continuing to say yes only causes you harm physically, mentally, spiritually and ALWAYS financially. There are times when God will have you to help someone who will NEVER be able to return the favor. That is being a blessing! It’s a totally different experience when God gives you the opportunity to say yes, because that means there is ministry ahead. Take heed to the words I italicized and put in bold print. These words are clues to the answers you need to give. Remember, “It’s okay to say yes to someone, just as long as you’re not saying no to you.” – Unknown Author